It's probably because she couldn't draw what she wanted.
Akari was in the art room after school, and she continued drawing in front of the plaster statue.
After a long time, when she lost her concentration and looked out of the window, the sun was setting.
It seemed that the students who had been doing clubs have also begun cleaning up.
She was looking at such figures while sitting on a chair in the art room.
Since she entered high school, she have drawn many and many paintings.
At club activities and at home, she was always painting if she had time. She wanted to draw as much as she wanted, she couldn't stop, and it was fun, uplifting, and exciting.
While doing so, she began to receive high praise even in the competition, gaining attention from around, and becoming a regular award winner.
She was glad at the beginning.
That was about two years ago. It's just before summer vacation.
"That girl again"
"Because Hayasaka is special"
“Anyway, the grand prize will just be that person again?”
When I went to the exhibition venue, I heard such a whispering.
The words, including the small thorns, pierced her heart, she thought she didn't mind, but after leaving the venue, her tears suddenly fell.
However, she just like to draw. It should have been just that.
The more she draw, the more she move away from that feeling.
By the time she realized, she had no idea if she wanted to paint herself.
Still, she can't just stop drawing.
She had no choice but to draw in time.
Akari didn't like the paintings she drew.
Not what she wants to paint. Her heart cannot help it.
Nevertheless, the evaluation is going against her will.
Everyone who saw Akari's paintings always praise them as “great” or “good painting”.
Though she can't think itself as a good painting or a wonderful painting.
Akari didn't understand why people called it a “good painting”.
People kept looking at her painting and said they are "good."
Such doubts had come up and she had lost her way, she had no idea what she was aiming for.
After graduating from highschool, let's stop--.
Such thoughts grew in her chest.
When Haruki and his colleagues asked her to draw a picture for a movie, she had decided somewhere in her mind to make it her last painting.
It’s just, I wanted to draw not just for evaluation, but for my heart.
Just like when I was fond of it, the fun and excited time.
She set aside, hesitated, faced her own painting and heart, and drew as many times as she could.
When she finally showed the completed picture, Souta stared at the picture without saying anything for a while.
"I see. You were looking for this. Hayasaka-san”
Souta smiled while a little teary.
"You have finally found it"
He said that.
Oh, this guy knew.
He knew and waited.
When she thought so, Akari felt warm in her chest.
I want to face painting again. She thought so because of Souta's words.
Otherwise, she would have stopped drawing when she completed the painting.
It was a little later that she decided to go to art school.
I want to like my paintings like before.
For that reason, she forgot all evaluations of competitions and exhibitions and wanted to learn the basics from scratch.
But when she started, she'd only notice what she hasn't done.
She doesn't have time. There were plenty of things to do before taking the exam.
There was a lot of impatience.
I had to walk forward. She noticed, looked back over and over again and thought, "Is this really alright?” And just got lost.
Akari didn't believe in her talent or skills as much as she thought.
It is terribly ambiguous.
All she can believe is the feeling of "I like painting" that she felt before.
She didn't rely too much on it to be a signpost.
If she’s alone, the anxiety she has forgotten will suddenly strike her even when she does not look at it or notice it. She became scared.
I wonder if I can do it properly.
She can't see the future at all. Even after leaving the university, Akari herself had not yet clearly seen what would happen.
Actually, she wanted to express her anxiety with someone.
Otherwise, it will fill her heart and overflow.
If she tells Souta, her feelings may be soothed.
[But ... I can't do it]
Akari was surprised when Souta told her he was writing a novel.
He was trying to find his dream and started walking.
In front of that Souta, she couldn't be weak.
"I have to do my best ..."
Akari muttered to herself and continued drawing in the croquis book.
When the school time passed and the students' voices disappeared, Matsukawa-sensei appeared.
"Hayasaka-san, the art room is about to close, okay?"
If you look at the watch, you'll see the final school time.
"I'm sorry, I'll go home soon."
When Akari got up, she began to clean up her croquis books and storyboards.
"Well, remember to close the door."
Matsukawa leaves the key on the desk and leaves.
Akari put the croquis book in her bag, and then gave her a breath of tiredness.
" I want to eat ... something sweet ... "
Invite Souta to sit at the window of the cafe and talk about the treat while tasting cake and coffee.
The time spent with Souta is gentle. Gentle and warm.
That time has always been important to Akari.
* * + * +
The next day, Akari walked with the Miou and Natsuki in the hallway where the school broadcasts during lunch break flowed.
"Speaking of the Christmas main dish ... Is it turkey or roasted?"
"Nacchan, turkeys aren't easy to buy. I guess it's okay to use chicken normally. And a roast is difficult ..."
She can hear such a conversation between Natsuki and Miou walking in front.
However, Akari was not involved in the conversation, but was thinking.
"Huh, Haruki"
Natsuki stopped while saying that when he came up to the stairs.
Suddenly, when you look at the landing, the students gather and talk.
In the center are Haruki and Midori.
"Once Haruki is the director, he doesn’t really care about a friendship and just do it. With friendship as a price!"
"Half-baked actors are not allowed. Midori probably doesn't want to be an actor."
"Ey. It's his aim, the Red Carpet. He aims for both the Best Actor Award and the Best Director Award! Ah, everyone just follows when Haruki calls for it.."
"Why, they're so close!"
Haruki is laughing with Midori.
After winning the grand prize in a movie competition, he has been a hot topic at school.
[Serizawa-kun ... Isn't he scared...?]
Haruki who is joking while holding Midori's shoulders is no different.
Before and after winning the prize in the competition.
He always looks dignified, confident, and looks like he's never been lost.
How can I be like that?
Such thoughts cross the heart of Akari.
"Haruki is absolutely on track! Studying abroad ..."
Natsuki, who said that, covered her mouth.
'Oops' is probably what she is thinking with that face.
"Etto…!"
"Yeah ... Haruki-kun looks happy."
Miou responds with a calm expression and walks up the stairs with a wrapped lunch.
Haruki, who was chatting with Midori and other students, suddenly saw Miou.
His lips open slightly, but close quickly to discourage them.
Miou didn't say anything and just passed by of Haruki.
"Wait, Miou!"
Natsuki chased afterwards.
"That's Haruki. Don't you not talk to Aida-san?"
It is Midori who approached them as they approached each other in the sun.
"......”
Haruki frowned and pressed his hand into the pocket to climb the stairs.
"... Hayasaka, Don’t you go? Miou and Natsuki have already gone."
Akari was surprised by the call of Haruki.
"Oh, yeah ... that's right."
Miou and Natsuki are no longer visible.
As we hurried down the stairs, two people were waiting in the middle of the hallway.
"Listen. Today's lunch, my mom overslept and just made me a rice ball!"
"Well, I'll give Nacchan a hamburger."
"Miou, so kind! I love you!"
Akari laughs at the conversation between Natsuki and Miou.
[I ... so much ...]
* * + * +
After school, Akari went to the art room as usual and borrowed a plaster statue to draw.
Since the test period has started, the juniors of the art club have not appeared in club activities.
The rain that began from noon continued, and there was no sign that the rain were weakening.
Drops blown by the wind are hitting the window glass.
When I ran a pencil through the croquis book, the door opened quickly and someone came in.
When he noticed the sound and raised his face, it was Haruki.
"Serizawa-kun ... If you’re looking for Miou-chan, she isn't here"
"Oh, no ... I have business with Hayasaka."
[Me…? ]
It is rare that Haruki doesn’t have business with Miou but with Akari.
"This is a painting I borrowed for the Movie Research Club. I told Mochita to return it, but he forgot it."
Haruki put a canvas wrapped in cloth on a workbench.
"I think the painting of Hayasaka was taken in a good way. The movie will be screened when it is completed, but it has not been completed yet."
While saying so, Haruki laughed awkwardly.
Akari stood up and removed the wrapped cloth to check.
It was a picture of the scenery of the classroom where the figure of a male student watching the cherry blossoms was drawn.
It's drawn from the perspective of the girl who falls in love with him.
Painted for Haruki and others, "It's a painting of love."
"I guess ... Hayasaka is amazing ..."
Haruki, looking at the canvas next to her, gave a casual tone.
Akari looked at his profile when she turned to Haruki's side.
"Is Hayasaka going to the art college?"
"Yup…"
[Serizawa-kun ...]
"Sorry. But well ... Hayasaka is probably okay? If you can draw like this."
Haruki's words responded for some reason, and the smile disappeared from the mouth of Akari.
"... It’s not okay..."
When I noticed, she was giving me a faint voice.
" Eh‥ ?"
"It's not okay at all... it's not ..."
"Hayasaka ...?"
Until now, I couldn't tell anyone.
The anxiety that was locked in my heart spilled out and didn’t stopped.
"Serizawa-kun ... doesn't it frighten you to follow your dreams?"
Suddenly, Haruki was silent with a confused expression.
"... What about it, Hayasaka?"
It wasn't until a while after that. Haruki's eyes calmly looked down.
Akari couldn't answer right away and looked down while grabbing her hands.
【I ......】
"... I'm scared ... I have to go on ... I can't stop ... I'm scared, really scared ..."
When she realized she couldn't do it, she was spilling a drop of tears down her cheek.
"That's... I…"
Haruki said in a small voice.
The two suddenly looked back at the sound of the door that suddenly opened.
Beyond that, Souta was running into the room with a complexion.
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